Penguin- Walking- Mother

I have now started to waddle when I walk. My feet and legs are so tried from all the added weight that I literally have started to waddle.. and no its not cute. Today marks 28 weeks! The fact that I have 12 more weeks to go of weight gain and general discomfort is a little discouraging. I wish Eleanor was big and healthy enough to come in a few more weeks but I want her to stay in the oven as long as she needs. I did clean the house this weekend. I had a sudden burst of energy and did laundry, cleaned the bathroom and straightened up  the kitchen. It felt so good to clean and get things back to "nice" in the house. My sheets are clean and I have clothes to wear to work. I don’t wake up with crap everywhere in my bedroom. It was so nice!

Matthew got his/our last couples gift...we got surround sound system installed in the living room. Michael & Sara came by and helped install it and its really very cool. Its also baby proofed! yah! All the wires are under the floor boards and covered with tubing up the wall. It looks custom installed so that made me happy. We watched Harry Potter 7.2 in blueray and it was very cool! This weekend we hope to watch the super bowl in surround sound! yah!

Today is my glucose screening at 2:30pm. I am so nervous. I don’t mind having to drink the special drink but the blood drawing always bothers me. I hate needles and I hate that whole process.

Yesterday we toured another daycare... Child Care Network...this one wasn't as great as the Goddard Place. Things we didn't like.. babies were on their belly in their cribs. (Hello SIDS laws) they had 10 cribs vs Goddard had only 8 cribs. There were no Latinos, Indians, Asians or whites in ANY of the age rooms. And there was only 1 staff member who wasn't black. I dont' want my child to be the minority. Goddard had such a great mix of races and genders. Then there was the location issue. Its a really bad left hand turn to get into the parking lot. The only "good" thing was it was 30 bucks cheaper than Goddard. Today we tour another daycare after my glucose testing. "The Chester brook Academy".  I'm interested in seeing how they stack up. Goddard called to follow up on how we were doing which I thought was very nice. There is so much left to do.. we also have to start interviewing pediatricians because that is something we will need right away.

Onwards!

I'm becoming one of "Those" Women..

All I seem to talk about with friends/ family/ all people is my baby.. I use to hate those women who basically word -vomited about their kids constantly.. I am now officially THOSE women.. I can't help myself.. when I run into people I give weight updates and "weeks to go" updates.. and "how I'm feeling".. now, granted, sometimes I am asked.. but all I update my friends about now on facebook and beyond is my baby..
I guess I need to be careful because not all my friends have kids.. and I know how annoyed I was with women who word-vomited about their kidos.


We had our elective 3-d ultra sound yesterday. I gatta say I wasn't as impressed with the pictures as I thought I would be. The lady who did them wasn't so great and the dvd didn't come out so we have to go back. Here are some of the pics.. I am happy to know she is REALLY a girl and she is 2.9lbs at 27-28 weeks. She is a mover and shaker. She didn't sit still the whole time which I loved because Matthew got to actually see her move around. I feel her move all the time but its harder for him to feel her move in my tummy. We are working on booking our maternity session with Wendy our former wedding photographer. Hopefully we will be able to do that in March!

Last night was our last baby education class. We learned A LOT last night. Did you know babies can’t drink water till they start eating solids? Also you aren’t supposed to use baby powder on their butts because the powder has been linked to asthma. You can't use q-tips in their ears or even that thermometer ear thing.. you have to take their temps with either a butt one or under their arm. You also can’t use scented lotions on baby because they could have allergies. The list went on and on. But it was soo helpful! One of our fellow students went into early labor at 33 weeks so she came to the class in a wheelchair because she is now a patient in the hospital!! That was an eye opening moment for us. It sunk in that we are really close to the end of caring our babies! She was the same girl who left the class to cry in the bathroom when we watched the birth video! Go figure! Now she is having a C-section. wow! I am going to miss that class so much! We exchanged facebook/phone numbers with our buddies from class so hopefully we can stay in touch.

Here is our "graduation" certificate for the course! lol yah!

The Business of Being Born

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/business-being-born/


Every woman who is going to have a baby should watch this documentary. Now, granted, this is a very one sided documentary for home births/ natural birth but it does give some good information for those who think the only option is epidurals in hospitals.

The More You Know..

I love our baby class. I feel like the more we learn the less scared I feel about giving birth. We learned a TON this class.. we learned about  pain management including, narcotics, epidurals, C-Sections and all the different equipment they may or may not plug into me and the baby. Holding and seeing these items really helps. We saw what a monitor will look like, what an IV line will look like. We held the internal monitors and oxygen mask. She explained how many people would be in the room for a C-section. She literally had everyone play "a role" in the typical operating room. There will be about 10 people in a typical room and she said seeing that many people can be over whelming so its good to get the visual before it could happen. We watched a couple short videos on epidural births and C-Section births. I had a hard time watching the C-section one because it literally is surgery and you can't hold your baby right away.
Matthew and I had a long talk when we got home about the options of epidurals. We are going to try very hard to have a natural birth but we feel a lot more comfortable about the options of an epidural now that we understand it more. I wont consider myself a bad mother if I have to get one. After all no one gets a medal for not having a little help giving birth.
I do know for sure that I DO NOT want any of the analgesics or drugs that make you disoriented. Not only do they go into your blood stream but they can also go into the baby's blood and then your baby is born basically stoned and high. They can give the baby a shot after its born to take this away but then your baby has had TWO types of drugs in their system before they even breath.. heck no! I have also heard that even though these "dull" the pain they can also make you forget your labor and make you disoriented.. no thanks.
Epidurals are used for C-sections and keep the pain numbness in one area of your body and it does not affect the baby. It can slow down labor so you shouldn't get one till you have hit a certain amount of dilatation. There are a lot of complications to them (as with anything ) so I am still going to try my best to go "all natural". I just pray the baby gives me the oportunity to go natural and that I don't need a C-section.. honestly that scares me more then pushing.

We also learned and got down into pushing positions to practice the different ways you can labor. I have no idea which one I liked because I wasn't in pain. I think the idea of being on all fours sounded the best. I use to use that position for when I had bad menstrual cramps so maybe it would work for labor? Who knows. There are so many things I wont know till I am in the midst of it all that its hard to even guess.

During class I thought about how very thankful I am to have Matthew as my partner. I can't imagine going through this with anyone else. He asked really good questions in class and is a very patient and relaxing person so that will help. He also gives the best back and leg massages so I know he will be a big help in trying to get me through the pain. He also loves me so much and really makes me feel comfortable and safe. He is setting up day care tours for us over the next couple of weeks. We also learned we can go to the fire department to have them show us how to properly install our baby car seat so Matthew is calling around to find one that will do that for us. It makes me happy to see him take an active interest in getting everything ready :) <3 Not a lot of dads nowadays are even going to baby class. One girl in my class has come with her mom and one time by herself. Her baby daddy came this class but didn't seem to interested in asking anything intelligent. One father even had the balls to say "well so basically you are only in pain for a few seconds for a contraction and then its over for a few mins.".. his wife rebutted "ok so every time I have one I will kick you in the balls and see how long you can put up with that pain." lol.. I couldn't stop laughing.. poor guy.. he is never getting laid again. :)

Next week is our last class. Which makes me kinda sad. I love our class, our teacher and friends from class. We have learned so much and I feel so much better after each session. Next week we will learn about CPR (again) and basic baby care. Then the last class I have is breast feeding which they actually encourage the men to go to with their wives because there is so much information. Matthew has Daddy Boot Camp this weekend and I really hope he enjoys it! That is an all guys class so hopefully that should be fun. Then we just wait and see when little Elle wants to join us in the world...

96 Days to go! WOW!

So this weekend Matthew had his buddy Juno over and they painted the baby room. The guys did a great job! We decided to go with pink and yellow because it jazzes it up a bit. There are still some touch ups to do but for the most part its all done and looks great. We also cleaned out the closet and moved the stuff that was in there to the linen closet and put all the baby items in the baby room closet.
Today marks 26 weeks! We have 14 weeks to go and its coming really fast. We have another baby class tonight. This one will talk about C-Sections and Epidurals and other pain alternatives during labor. We also will learn birthing positions to get into.
We took CPR last week with my in laws. That was a great class but it just added another level of fear with the discussion of SIDS. Its one thing to get the baby out and make sure I'm ok and the baby's ok then we have to take it home and take care of it. Its like a constant fear that will never go away. My anxiety is really kicking in the closer we get to labor and delivery. Its funny how the fear has shifted. I stared out scared about having a miscarriage in the beginning.. then going into labor freaked me out.. and now just keeping it alive to give birth and after birth is there..I'm also sad because our lives are about to change completely. We will no longer be able to just go out and do anything we want.. we will have to think of the baby first. I told Matthew I want to enjoy as much couple time as we can because a bomb is about to go off in our house.. its called a baby. No one ever talks about how sad it can be to realize your life is about to totally shift. Even when you wanted to have kids and were trying.. it hits you when its about to become a reality. Yeah its exciting to be expecting a baby and I can't wait to meet her and raise her but I am also sad to lose the life I am use to.
I"m also sick of people telling me how to feel....lately I have been really tired and depressed. I can't drink wine, I have to be so careful when I order food, I can't just jump up and do things around the house.. it sucks to have your body totally taken over.. But when I talk to people (aka other mothers) about this all I get is grief and guilt.. "you should be thankful to be pregnant. So many women would be grateful for all this..." .."you having a baby is a miracle you shouldn't complain about your body..its such a small sacrifice".. really?? a "small" sacrifice.. the freedom to eat, sleep, run and jump is taken away from you for 9 months but I'm suppose to just ignore all that and be grateful because I'm not a statistic? Fine.. I am thankful but I am also allowed to feel depressed...thank god I have my hubby.. he doesn't say stupid crap back to me when I complain about things.. it seems only the women have this honor in life to make other women feel like ass..
Matthew listens to me and knows its not easy but he doesn't make me feel bad for being depressed about things from time to time. He lets me complain and cry...he always cheers me up but he also allows me to be in an open space about my feeling without making me feel like i'm wrong...This is why I married him..he is my best friend and I love him for that!

On a happier note.. Baby Elle is a dancer, mover and shaker...I love to feel her move. Lately she has been very active and moves a lot when I sit or lay down. Its a great feeling because it let me know she is doing ok and exploring her little sack. I wish Matthew could feel her kicks the way I do.. he doesn't feel them as strongly as I do because of the layers of fat and placenta. My fingers have also gotten so swollen that now I am wearing my rings around my neck on the necklace that Matthew gave me on Christmas. Its sad to not be able to wear my rings on my finger but at least they are close to me heart around my neck. I have my dads ring on my wedding finger so that helps.

My mom is coming to visit this weekend. I can't wait to see her! Matthew also has Daddy Boot Camp this weekend. I hope he enjoys it! Should be nice for him to hang out with other first time dads and dads who have just gone through all this.. I hope its a good class.


Till next time.. bye

"This is better than a hotel!!" .. yeah but a lot less relaxing..

Last night we had our second baby class. Here are some of the techniques we learned for labor...

Create a Calm Environment

Dim lights, peaceful surroundings, privacy, warmth.

Increase Physical Comfort

Walking, slow dancing with partner, pelvic rocking, positioning pillows for comfort, sitting and swaying on birth ball (a large physiotherapy ball), lifting up the abdomen, rocking in a rocking chair

Then we watched a natural birth video. The lady did it without any drugs and it was pretty interesting to see all the techniques she used. She got herself into a lot of different positions and played music, got massaged, and even had a mirror at the end to see the baby come out for encouragement that she was almost done giving birth.

One of the other mothers in the class left in the middle of the video. She said she cried in the bathroom because she was so overcome. I felt good because though it was hard to watch I wanted to see that it could be done and done without drugs.

Then we got a tour of the maternity wing.

I must say that CMC University has a really nice Maternity wing. They have 28 rooms and every other room has a tub for mothers to relax in if they haven't had their water broken. The rooms look like hotel rooms.

Family-Friendly SuitesLabor, delivery, recovery and postpartum all take place in one thoughtfully designed suite. These private, spacious suites are built around the needs of your family. The Maternity Center at CMC-University offers family-centered care, allowing mothers and babies to remain in the same room throughout their stay.
Through our newly adopted Progressive Level of Care, infants with increased needs can remain with you to receive special care instead of going to a progressive nursery or the Special Care Neonatal Nursery. This encourages immediate bonding for the entire family - mother, father, siblings and other family members.
Each suite has a TV/DVD and CD player to help you relax or pass the time, a rocking chair and a large, private bathroom. We have included a daybed for dad or a guest and an Internet connection so you can see and share those first precious moments.
Our staff provides a warm, supportive atmosphere in which you and your family can gently bond and learn to care for your new baby. While your baby may stay with you the entire time, our caring and experienced nursing staff will be close by to answer your questions and give you the support and help you need.

It really hit me when they took us in the rooms to see the facilities that I am going to come back there for birth.. Matthew was so excited about the room and for me it was like a smack in the face of reality.  He said "wow this is better than a hotel" to which I replied.. yeah but a lot less relaxing for me! I got emotional being in the rooms because I realized “I will be on that bed!”.  I don't like hospitals but I am happy that this place doesn't feel the way my dads hospital wing felt. I also like the fact that it has such high security. All baby's have a GPS on their legs and an alarm will sound if they are taken off the floor. So I guess we will see in a few months...

We also did pre-registration at the hospital via the Internet. This way when I do go into labor they have all the paper work done and out of the way. There will still be forms for me to sign but not as many now that I am pre-registered.

Next class we will learn about giving birth with help from epidurals and pain management drugs. I really hope to not use them but it will be good to learn about more options if I need them. We will also learn about C-sections and that will be a lot harder to watch on video then the birth. I just pray I don't have to have a C-Section..really pray for me on that one people! ugh!

The eternal optimist ... Ms. Exie May

I gatta say, no matter how horrible I feel, or how bad my day has been there is one little person that is always happy and positive.. my little doggie-daughter Exie. I have been sick and tired this whole week and she has been so upbeat and happy. She snuggled with me when I got home and every morning she will not get out of bed till I get up. She literally will lay with me till I go downstairs. Matthew will wake up and go to work and she just sits with me....Even when I get in the shower she just lays on my clothes and watches me get ready. Sometimes I wonder what she is thinking.. "green sweater with those pants? Mom, really???" and on weekends I usually grab her and spoon her. Its the best feeling in the world. Sometimes she will bring me her teddy bear and hopes that we will play a little before I leave and when I get home she always has a toy right there for me to play with .. it makes me smile and I love how excited she is when I come home..she bursts with excitment and it makes me forget what a crap day I may have had..
When it comes to food she always thinks she will get some.. she will patiently wait and wait and stare and stare till someone gives her a bite.. she doesn't always get food from the table but she never gives up..
I think thats what I love about her most.. she never gives up hope.. hope that today I will stay home from work and play with her.. hope that mommy or daddy will share some food..
I wish we could all have such positive and hopeful outlooks on life..

BabyMoon to Chapel Hill

We have reached week 25! Little Eleanor is kicking up a storm and just went to her first Tar Heel Basketball game via my belly. She kicked me when John Henson came on the court. Maybe he is her favorite player? We went shopping on Franklin Street and bought her a ton of stuff. Three onesie's (one says "I'm too cute to Cheer for Duke") , pink tar heel booties, tar heel towel and washcloth set, Tar Heel rattle, Pacifier holder, receiving blanket/burp cloth and bib. Matthew got her a little knit cap to wear when she is born and brought home from the hospital. He was really excited to find the cap because he really wanted her to have one. We had a really good time on our BabyMoon to Chapel Hill and even though I am not 100% better from my sinus infection I felt a lot better than the previous weekend. I am now on Sudafed which seems to help and I am almost done with my antibiotic. However, now that I am getting off that I have another type of female infection so the "good times" keep coming for me and my body. But I am grateful that these things dont' hurt Eleanor and only make me miserable.
Our moms and Sara have been busy planning our baby shower which will be February 18^th. I can't believe we only have 15 weeks to go (if I go the full 40 weeks) ah its insane. We started our baby classes. I really enjoy the classes because we are in there with 10 other first time parents learning about labor and delivery. I feel like I know a lot more then most and I also like being able to ask questions and not feel dumb. We meet every Tuesday for four weeks. Tomorrow is class #2 and we watch a live birth video. Eek! The class is pretty equal on who is having a boy vs. who is having a girl. Matthew has Daddy Boot Camp class next weekend and we have Baby CPR class this Thursday night with my in-laws.
 Matthew is also painting Eleanor's room this weekend with his buddy Juno. We are going to paint her room yellow just like my room was as a baby. It's all coming so fast it's hard to believe we are almost in our third trimester and my belly is getting REALLY big. I am trying to look at my feet because in a few more weeks they will be MIA. Speaking of a few weeks in 3 weeks I have to get the Glucose screening test done. This test involves me drinking some sugary concoction and then an hour later they take my blood. Now I am not a fan of needles and I HATE giving blood. I usually get really scared and ramble to the nurse as she draws my blood as a distraction. Here's hoping my levels are normal and that I don't have gestational diabetes!! The magic number to be under is 135 and the results come in two days after the test. I'm just happy that so far Eleanor is growing normally and moving because her movements give me a lot of reassurance that she is doing ok and exploring her little sack.

Coughing in the new year..

So today we are 24 weeks pregnant and waiting for the ball to drop for 2012 to begin. I must say I can't wait for 2011 to be over with. This year brought with it some truly difficult losses for my family. My aunt was murdered in her own home by her ex boyfriend on july 4th and my father died of pancreatic cancer. The best parts of 2011 where I got a new job,  we got pregnant with our little girl and we enjoyed our first year of being married and living in our new house.
Tonight the ball will drop and 2012 will ring in a new year of goods and bads. My prayer is that the good is our daughter is born healthy and happy. We as a family stay healthy and close.I also pray there are very little to no bads.. right now I have a very bad cough that has progressivly gotten worse. I am taking robitusin and trying to drink a lot of liquids. The holidays wore me and my hubby out. We go to see the doctor for our 24 week appointment on wednesday and if my cough isn't better by then I will beg for him to give me something stronger. The morning coughing is the worst because if I cough hard enough then my gag reflux kicks in and I begin to dry heave over the sink until I vomit up bile. LOVELY. I just cry and pray that my baby is safe and not dealing with anything that her mommy is dealing with.
I feel little Eleanor move every day and it makes me smile. The bond between us grows each day and I love the way she constantly reminds me how blessed we are to have her moving around in my belly. Matthew reads to her The Hobbit each night and I dream about what she will look like and what her personality will be like. We have registered for our baby showers and I have begun to wear maternity clothes now that my tummy and boobs have a new area code :)  I am more hungry nowadays and minus this horrible cough I get more and more excited about being a mom and having a baby. Labor and delievery still terrify me but we start our baby classes next week so possibly this fear will lessen as I learn more and as time gets closer.

A toast to 2012! May god bless us all this new year!

12/31/2011

Its a GIRL!.....Really?

They say mothers know what they are having before they even find out. I personally call "crap" on this! Part of me thought it was a boy and another part felt "girl". We decided to have a gender reveal party to celebrate finding out with all our family and friends. We had our 20 week ultra sound on December 7th, 2011. We were so excited and nervous to see our little one on the big screen. The last time we saw them was when they were 5 weeks and just a tiny tadpole. It was truly amazing. He or she even smiled when I laughed. The heartbeat was 148 and the tech said he or she had all their fingers, toes, kidneys and heart areas. Everything checked out. Then we wanted to find out the gender. We asked Christine the tech to not tell us but write down the gender on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope. She had to go down there four or five times to get a look. Our modest little one had his or her legs crossed and the umbilical cord was right between the goods! She finally got enough of a view and made her guess. We took the envelope to our Nona's bakery and they put the color "blue or pink" inside the cake. We then gave the envelop to our neighbors the Mohr’s to keep safe so we wouldn't be tempted to peak. Then my mom came down Friday to help decorate for the party. Matthew decided to wear Carolina Blue for boy and I wore a Pink sweater and pink socks for girl. Exie even joined in on the fun and wore a pink polka dot sweater. A TON of our family and friends came. We played “Old Wives Tales” game to guess the gender. The outcome was 12 girl 13 boy score. It was a very close vote. Then we went to cut the cake… the inside was.. PINK! We are having a girl!! Everyone was thrilled. My dad before he died guessed “girl” and as he is always right.. we are having a girl!! I cried.. I was so shocked and overcome with joy. Matthew read to my mom and his parents the excerpt from Lord of the Rings…when Sam finds out he is having a girl instead of a boy. He names her Elanor after the most beautiful flower in middle earth. We love the name Eleanor (this spelling not Elanor book spelling) and most likely that will be her name. but we still have time to decide. We are sooo excited!

12/12/2011

Hearing the Heartbeat

Yesterday we went in for our 11 week appointment. We said a little prayer on the way because we hopped everything was going to go ok. We thought we would get another ultra sound but instead we got to hear the heartbeat of baby White. First the nurse brought us into a room to go over our family healthy history. She asked about my health and our familys health. She asked about how I was doing and if we had any questions. She gave us a packet on CMC and all the courses they offer for parents. She then had me lay on the table and used the doppler to find the heartbeat. I was really nervous. A million questions went through my mind what if she cant find it? What if its weak?  Then before I could ask myself another question she found it. It was soo cool to hear the heartbeat. Every time she found it the baby would move. She said our little one had a strong heartbeat of 170!! I turned to my husband and said, "oh a high heartbeat means girl!", he didnt seem too thrilled with that statement but the nurse reminded him it was still early. We were thrilled and Matthew did get a little tear in his eyes. Then we met with the doctor who said we would come back for our 16 week appointment on November 7^th. We would do another urine check up and heart monitor. Then December 5^th he said we would be back for our next ultra sound for gender test and the check the heart and brain of the baby. He asked if we wanted any genetic testing done and we said no. Its not going to make a difference if there is something genetically different about our baby or not we are still going to love it with all our hearts... and yes Matthew will love it even if its a girl. He is soo excited!

Until next time.. goodbye!

10/5/2011

Beef! Its NOT whats for dinner..

God bless my husband. He cooks for us and I love it! A few nights ago he made mexican. My fave! I got in the kitchen to make my tacos when I got up to the stove where the meat was I almost barfed. The smell alone was awful. I have yet to eat any red meat in the last 2 weeks. My nausea has been on high alert and I have tried to drink ginger ale and eat salteen crackers as much as possible. I miss deli meats and seafood, I miss meat in general and I really miss soda and wine. I still can eat a little sushi that is cooked but I try not to out of fear it will do something to the baby. I am thrilled to be pregnant but not thrilled with the side effects. I feel tired 90% of the day and all I want to do is lay on the sofa. I do have a new love for Baked Beans. I can't get enough! Go figure!

We go back for our second appointment Oct. 4th in two more weeks. I can't wait. I am excited to see the baby hopefully bigger and hopefully hear a heartbeat.
I am nine weeks and three days today! 4 weeks to go till I hit the second trimester. I can't wait!

9/2011

Is that little dot a baby?

We went in for our first ultra sound in late august. We had thought we would be 7 weeks by the time we saw our first image. We were wrong. The tech told us we were a week behind. Our due date moved from April 13th to April 22nd. I was a little sad because I wanted to be further along and almost done with the first trimester.
As she showed us the images of our little bean it still felt unreal. She couldnt' let us hear the heartbeat but she did find one and it was at 120 which is great. She printed off copies of the pictures and all my blood work and urine came back normal. It was a great first visit and it eased a lot of fears.

We gave a copy of the picture to each of our parents. Thank god for arrows because I couldn't tell what I was looking at the whole time.

9/21/2011

I"m Pregnant !!

Everytime I tell someone I am pregnant it is exciting and I feel that rush of being freaked out all over again. Though my husband I planned and were trying to get pregnant we didn't think it would happen so fast. So many friends had told us how "long" it took them to get pregnant that we figured it would take at least a year. NOPE it took 3 months.
I still remember that morning. It was a saturday morning in August. My period was late but it had been moving forward and backwards so much I didn't get my hopes up. I woke up around 9:30 and my stomach felt really strange. I usually lay on my tummy at night but I woke feeling awful for being on my tummy. I also had to pee. We had bought some pregnancy tests and they had all come back negative. We still had 2 left over so I grabbed one on the way to the toliet and didn't think much of it other than "why not?".  As soon as I lifted the stick the two lines appeared. I yelled "Oh my god". Matthew was still asleep but woke up thinking Exie (our dog) had pooped somewhere and I found it. I walked back into the bedroom and I was like "we are pregnant! look at this!" Matthew didn't really know what he was looking at. Two lines didn't spell out "pregnant" to him.

We lay in bed in shock and excitment. Were we really? OMG! Excitment and fear flooded our bed.

Actualy Posted: 9/21/2011