Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Having only one child..
Its funny after you have a baby how the question then becomes.. when will you have another? or .. do you think you will have another? I just gave birth not even four months ago and already this question is a constant companion to the "are you sleeping yet" question. As someone who just gave birth.. the idea of going through the last year of my life again seems cruel and unusual. Not to mention the fact we have zero money to even take care of the baby we have presently. If it wasn't for my mother we wouldn't even be able to afford our current child's daycare. My mom has been our sole source of financial and diaper help and it looks like she will be that only source for a long time. After looking at our monthly income and financial future.. having another child would send us to the poor house. But people don't want to hear that.. people want to hear that I will be popping out kids so my "poor" child will have a playmate.. which leads me to my next point.. who says siblings will get along?.. I grew up with a lot of friends who hated their brother or sister. Some to the point where as adults they don't even speak to each other. As an only child I had my own room, my own toys and a free college education due to my parents saving easily for just my future. I was not spoiled or made to feel entitled...instead I was loved and given a good base of values. I know A LOT of only children.. my husband being another.. and we are all just fine. Our lives were not "less" because we lacked a sibling.
I found a wonderful article on the NY times...she basically speaks my mind about what I have witnessed too!
"Oh, I am not sure, we might just have one,” I’d say, only to see the other mom’s face turn into one of disbelief, at best, and instant negative judgment, at worst. This would be followed by a range of comments, from the passive-aggressive “Are you serious?” to my personal favorite, “I’m sure you’ll change your mind soon.”
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/29/whats-wrong-with-having-one-child/
I don't know how I will feel in 2-3 years but I just hope Eleanor is healthy and happy and if we only have her.. at least I know I will be able to send her to college and help her in any way she needs me. If that makes me look bad in other people's eyes.. oh well.. The older I get the more and more I realize the only persons opinion that matters is my own.. and at times my hubby :) lol
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