100 Things I Want to Teach My Daughter

1. Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of body.
2. The benefit of the doubt is sometimes the best gift we can give our friends.
3. There will always be mean girls– that doesn’t mean we find a tower and Rapunzel ourselves away from the world.
4. Your daddy has loved you better and longer than any boy ever will.
5. Your father will teach you how boys should treat you.
6. You’re always welcome in my wardrobe.
7. The world needs your point of view.
8. Food is a joy.
9. Your body is strong and capable of more than you can imagine right now.

10. Ice cream is a love language.

11. Cook, decorate, clean, organize because you love to, not because someone tells you you’re meant to.
12. Music makes everything better.
13. Dance – especially when you’re doing the laundry.
14. You’ll never be too old for me to rock you.
15. Nothing you tell me will ever make me want to stop hearing from you.
16. We need your story.
17. No prayer request is ever too small, too silly or too embarrassing to share.
18. Washing your face every night is the best kind of beauty routine.
19. Sunscreen – you got my genes.

20. Mr Darcy and popcorn make for a perfect evening.

21. Blue eyes really do melt hearts.
22. Betty Crocker’s chocolate fudge is the best in the world.
23. A good movie can change how you understand someone else.
24. Words can build bridges between people.
25. Home is not where we live but who we love.
26. Naps are great!
27. Your Name holds a special meaning for us.
28. Inevitably I will splinter your heart.. But we will tweeze it out together.
29. You taught me how to feel beautiful.

30. Staying up late to read a good book is never time wasted.

31. Good girls aren’t boring.
32. A great mascara is always worth the investment.
33. There is not "right" way to be a woman and mother..
34. The “mommy wars” are a myth; we’re all in this together.
35. The best way never to worry about anyone gossiping about you is never to gossip about anybody.
36. Saying sorry first is a sign of strength not a weakness.
37. I’m on your side; especially on the days when it doesn’t feel like it.
38. Your body is not just yours. It’s a gift for your husband. I promise it’s worth waiting to unwrap together.
39. Sex for the first time will require a beautiful sense of humor and a partner who’s in it for life.

40. The movies lie. Passion isn’t a contorted exercise on a marble staircase, it’s doing the dishes together and lying with your feet touching in bed at the end of a long day.

41. Marriage is an act of courage, commitment and sacrifice. It’s also the most fun you’ll ever have with your best friend.
42. Always fight fair. But don’t be afraid to fight.
43. Long hair requires a really good conditioner.
44. God says He has made all things beautiful – that includes you, my love – no matter how you feel about your body
45. Fashion is not my forte; I look forward to learning from you.
46. I love the curves you added to my body.
47. A good cry is great therapy.
48. Christian women aren’t immune from cliques. Love on regardless.
49. Bad hair days are inevitable.

50. A strong man is never threatened by a strong woman.

51. Go big even if it means failing big. Especially then.
52. Be the friend you wish you had.
53. Travel all over the world.
54. You can’t control what others think about you. Let it go.
55. A first kiss should be toasted, treasured, savored.
56. I will be your best friend. But I will be your mother more.
57. Your dad will teach you about music. He has the best taste.
58. You can’t go wrong with a good journal
59. Stop for sunsets.

60. Prince Charming isn’t a fairytale, he’s a myth

61. Daughters teach us about our mothers. You gave me back my mom.
62. Jesus loves you for you. Not for your ability to bear children.
63. Husbands need a wife. Not another mom.
64. It’s true what they say about childbirth and then some.
65. Love waits.
66. Patience is never wasted.
67. Don’t just Instagram your life. Live it.
68. Dad will be the one helping you with math homework and when that fails there will be a tutor.
69. Don’t be afraid of a broken heart.

70. The only thing holding you back from making a difference in the world will be yourself.

71. IHOP pancakes are better than mine
72. Girlfriends are the best kind of free therapy there is.
73. Don’t be afraid to be foolish.
74. Real life is always better than online.
75. A good friend loves at all times. Period.
76. Read everything written by JRR Tolken and JK Rowling
77. Eating too much nerds candy will be something your teeth make you regret in your thirties.
78. I’m more interested in your growth than your happiness.
79. I will earthquake wide open when you hurt.

80. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it, wear it or say it.

81. Challenge yourself.
82. Walk across the Charles Bridge in Prague.
83. Learn at least one other language.
84. Cross-cultural marriage is much harder than you can ever imagine
85. Homesickness never gets easier.
86. But Dramamine is the perfect cure for motion sickness on 18 hour flights.
87. We need each other.
88. Bad haircuts grow out eventually.
89. You will love again.

90. The painful truth is always easier than a messy lie.

91. Jesus loves you, this I know. In my heart, my bones, my soul.
92. There’s no such thing as perfect.
93. You can always come home.
94. Nothing will make me love you less.
95. Nothing will make me love you more.
96. The mirror is not the boss of you.
97. You’re the most brave when you’re the most scared and keep going anyway.
98. Womanhood is a gift.
99. I’m never tired of being your mother.
100. You will always be my baby girl.

Having only one child..

Its funny after you have a baby how the question then becomes.. when will you have another? or .. do you think you will have another? I just gave birth not even four months ago and already this question is a constant companion to the "are you sleeping yet" question. As someone who just gave birth.. the idea of going through the last year of my life again seems cruel and unusual. Not to mention the fact we have zero money to even take care of the baby we have presently. If it wasn't for my mother we wouldn't even be able to afford our current child's daycare. My mom has been our sole source of financial and diaper help and it looks like she will be that only source for a long time. After looking at our monthly income and financial future.. having another child would send us to the poor house. But people don't want to hear that.. people want to hear that I will be popping out kids so my "poor" child will have a playmate.. which leads me to my next point.. who says siblings will get along?.. I grew up with a lot of friends who hated their brother or sister. Some to the point where as adults they don't even speak to each other. As an only child I had my own room, my own toys and a free college education due to my parents saving easily for just my future. I was not spoiled or made to feel entitled...instead I was loved and given a good base of values. I know A LOT of only children.. my husband being another.. and we are all just fine. Our lives were not "less" because we lacked a sibling.

I found a wonderful article on the NY times...she basically speaks my mind about what I have witnessed too!

"Oh, I am not sure, we might just have one,” I’d say, only to see the other mom’s face turn into one of disbelief, at best, and instant negative judgment, at worst. This would be followed by a range of comments, from the passive-aggressive “Are you serious?” to my personal favorite, “I’m sure you’ll change your mind soon.”

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/29/whats-wrong-with-having-one-child/


I don't know how I will feel in 2-3 years but I just hope Eleanor is healthy and happy and if we only have her.. at least I know I will be able to send her to college and help her in any way she needs me. If that makes me look bad in other people's eyes.. oh well.. The older I get the more and more I realize the only persons opinion that matters is my own.. and at times my hubby :) lol

The Mommy Club

They really don't tell you what being a mom will be like or what having a baby will be like..its kind of like a secret society. I've noticed everything I THOUGHT I was going to do .. or not do.. is now different. They tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps.. and then you don't becuase your so happy to have "you time" that you watch tv or do dishes or have time with your hubby. They tell you breast feeding is best and blah blah blah.. then you realize how stress full and time consuming that is and you get over it and tell those that make you feel guilty to shove it! They tell you to stay at home through contractions...then you end up never even having one outside of Pitocin and have a Csection....I really believe nothing in life can be planned or controlled.. if being a mom has taught me anything its that you just have to go with the flow and enjoy life. Every mom is different and every baby is different.. none better than the rest.
Ellie started Daycare and we are sorta happy with them.. sorta not.. its hard as first time parents to know if what we are getting for our money is good. We love Mrs. Donna who works 8-3pm but aren't so happy with Mrs. Tonya who works 7:30-8:30am with the babies..not a fan. But then again what do we know? We are just trying to get Ellie on a schedule and make sure she is taken care of.
Last week She turned three months old. Its amazing how fast time has gone. I'm back at work and trying to juggle my new life. Its hard at times but in the end its a amazing to be a mother and I wouldn't trade it for sleep any day...

Holy Growth Spurt!

Eleanor is Six weeks old! Wow! This is the most exhausting but rewarding job of my life. I am tired every day and my back hurts every day but I love my little girl so much. Our follow up appointments have gone great! Ellie is right on track with weight gain and her shots. She weight 8lbs 10oz at her 1 month appointment. She also grew a tiny bit in height.. she is now 21 3/4 inches. Mommy is doing a lot better. She lost all her baby weight! Yah!! Now trying to lose more for overall health and vanity. Blood pressure is still not all the way down but making its way. They lowered my dose again but still not completely off. No protein in the urine and my iron levels are good. Doc said my incision is healing wonderfully and the doctor took me off restrictions for lifting and all physical activities.
Its hard as hell to be at home all day with Ellie. There are some days I just want to cry because I am so tired and Ellie is so fussy. This week has been very challenging because Ellie has been going through a growth spurt. Yesterday I fed her 6oz of formula  per bottle when normally her bottles are 4 oz each But she just kept screaming for more food so like the doctor told us we gave her more.. holy cow! Matthew has tomorrow off work and I am thrilled. I need a day off like you would not believe. I never thought I would be jealous of people going to work. I would love for Matthew to stay home one day like I do and go through what I do. By the time he gets home from work she is usually finishing up a nap or ready for a bottle but not nearly as fussy as she was at 10am or noon. Don't get me wrong.. I love being with my daughter and having the opportunity to spend all this time with her but I have such a new respect and appreciation for my mother being a stay at home mom.. it really is the hardest thing on the planet. It will be so hard to take her to day care and go back to my job so I try and enjoy every moment I can.
Ellie is starting to smile now!! Which I LOVE! We play on her playmat and she beginning to not just be a screaming, pooping, sleeping baby.. she actually is now starting to play and have fun expressions. It helps keep my sanity to see her now smile back at me.
Exie has been very good with Ellie and mainly keeps to herself. She does get jealous when I am playing with Ellie on the floor because she was use to me playing with HER on the floor. She still sleeps with us and I still try and throw her toys and give her treats. She has eaten 4 of Ellies pacifiers and that has me really mad. And her pooping and peeing on the carpets upstairs has me livid. When Ellie starts crawling we plan to have Stanley Steamer come back out and do our carpets again and at that time start locking Exie in her play pen.
Well I gata run.

Three Weeks

I can't believe my daughter is three weeks old! Where did the weeks go? Matthew is back to working half days and my mom is back helping me out while we get use to Matthew being at work. Ellie has gotten so big! I'm sure she weights close to 8-9lbs by now. I'm slowly feeling better. I hate my blood pressure medicine! It makes me dizzy and I have to be very careful when I get up from sitting or laying down. My incision is looking great and you can't even see it unless I point it out. My allergies are bad so I am taking my clariton again. Matthew's dad is cured of his infection! Thank god! He finally got to hold his grand daughter a few days ago. I got to go out for a girls night with Katie and Heidi and my mom. It felt really good to go shopping and have dinner. I did miss my little girl though and was really happy to get home and hold her. It was weird to be away from her for a few hours but its good I took some me time. Its been really hard at night. Ellie doesn't like to sleep at night at all. We change her diaper, feed her and hold her but she wont sleep till we put her in bed with us.. a really bad habit but by 4am we don't care and just want to get to bed. She is too young to just let her cry in her bed. We keep trying every night to get her into her crib and hopefully in the next few weeks she will start to get better with sleeping longer in there then a few mins. She is really strong. She can lift her head when she get angry enough and has super strong legs. Changing her diaper is harder then I thought when she kicks and screams. We love to watch her make faces and can't wait to see her smile back at us and not just when she has gas. Her umbilical cord has fallen off and we have taken her out to Carabas for dinner and Bojangles for breakfast. We also took her to Baby's R Us to pick up more supplies. She was a good girl and it was fun to go out. We also went next door to see the neighbors for dinner. I will be happy when the doctor says its safe to take her out even more to see more people. This weekend her Great Grandmother Luela will be visiting her and monday her second cousins Meg and Hannah will be stopping by. There are so many people for her to meet and I can't wait for more people to come see her soon. She seems to like bathtime better now that its not a spounge bath. The warm water is great to sooth her. She still gets fussy when she gets out because she is most likely cold. We love her so much. Every day with her is a blessing from God and we thank him every day for her!

Eleanor is here!

What an eventful week. On April 11, 2012 Miss Eleanor Virginia White was born at 10:20am , 7lbs 9oz, 21inches long, via Csection. It was a wild ride. They had to induce me because my blood pressure kept going up and it was better to have her early for our safety. They tried induction but it didn't work and Eleanor wouldn't come down so we had the Csection.
I can't explain how amazing but very overwhelming it feels like to be a mother but its also very exhausting and has been an emotional roller coaster. We have been home almost a full week on Sunday and Matthew and I are still getting use to the long nights and trying to figure a schedule out with feedings and sleep.  My mother is here and its been so great to have all her help and I don't know how we would have done this without her. She has been amazing and done so much.  Matthews parents have  come to see her but Matthew's dad hasn't been feeling well so they are waiting to be safe to come by for full visits. Which we appreciate their taking care to make sure not to give Eleanor anything.
Well back to Ellie we go..

UNC Charlotte Work Baby Shower

The ladies at my work threw me a wonderful shower! There was strawberry cake, lemon squares, chocolate covered strawberries and m& ms, peanuts, pretzels  and punch. It was really, really nice. About 15 people came and it was super nice of everyone to get Eleanor some great stuff. We got lots of diapers (yahh!! We sooo needed them), onesie's,  cute outfits, bibs, safety preps, keep sake box, bottles, a great bedding set and so much more! It was so nice!